I was listening to pianist Yiruma while trying to work. It was a song I had not heard before: “Love Me”. Within a few notes of the piano for some reason I flashed on Rick & I working on home projects through the years. This quickly evolved into feelings of pure happiness & satisfaction and wham! – I entered a reverie of Rick & I fixing up a cute little house in a coastal town.
I got the feeling of late afternoon, the setting sun throwing it’s golden light in through the windows, an ocean breeze blowing in as well.
For a moment I was standing in a kitchen/dining area and the color on the walls was light lemon yellow, the windows with thick wood sills, freshly painted white. Rick was busy in the living room, but we kept catching each other’s eye with a look that seemed to say “We’re doing it. Our dream home by the ocean!”. What a sweet reverie!
Rather than feeling sad at the missed real opportunity, this vision was so heartwarming and uplifting – like I was just gifted with a glimpse beyond this world! Is it a space in our heart where we see what it would be like if a dream came true or a wish was fulfilled? It almost felt like an answer to a long-wondering question. The feelings of affirmation, happiness, in just being was such an answer, a message, a gift. And of course, it was Rick in the center of it all because of elements of so many discussions we had of our dreams over the years.
Oh, the feeling I had when Rick and I looked at each other in that reverie. I can still feel it now and I hope when I re-read this on another day, I’ll see the color of light yellow paint, sense the warmth of the golden hour being pushed in the windows by a Pacific breeze. I feel like I was living in one of our dreams and I just know Rick was sharing it with me.