2023-05-03 A Note to Sister & Brother Widows

I learned something on last week’s solo getaway. I roamed down a semi-private road of another Inn looking for somewhere to view the sun setting over the mighty Pacific.

I was rewarded with a truly awesome sunset view!

Sunset at Jenner, CA April 25, 2023

Rick & I loved exploring beaches/forests together, we both took photos & posed together. When I started going solo I stopped asking strangers to take a photo of me, it felt so…needy/sad to me, and I hated seeing my sad face when I tried it once or twice. Within 6 months on my journey I bought a Phone selfie stick/tripod with wireless remote. I also learned to use the shutter delay on my phone’s camera. It gave me a bit more courage/pride as I learned how to use these.

One of the first photos with my new gear, Mar 2022

I now realize:

– I was missing seeing me making/enjoying my solo adventures, missing having photos of me ‘being there’.

-I am LIVING for two of us, seeing incredible new places (a privilege denied to Rick). After I have been joyously reunited with Rick I want our 3 sons & their families to have proof that Mom/”Gogo” really kept on living after Dad/”Pop-Pop” moved to paradise. (The One Republic song “I Did It All” became our anthem when it became popular in 2014.)

It’s cool because I feel a bit more happy/mischievous in my trips taking photos with me represented, it makes me feel like Rick is there, too. And I know he is happy I am enjoying life again. It encourages me on! So these photos are some of my snaps from my solo journeys in the past 13 mos.

Feeling very alive with the big waves in Santa Cruz, Mar 2022

I am so glad/inspired to have more adventures when I see these. In no way does this diminish my feelings of missing Rick, but it helps to find the ‘glimmers’ (opposite of ‘triggers’) and joy presented in a wave, a sunset, a feeling of sun on my face etc, so I don’t miss the gifts of life in front of me.

Maybe it’s not every widow’s rut, but I want to help my sister & brother widows to either avoid or get out of it, too. So – take a deep breath and the next step, even if it’s just to a new local park, a garden center, or a photo of your feet in the sand or your hand cradling a flower. This last picture is me celebrating life and love while watching the sunset at Jenner on my second evening.

Published by terriamma

I'm a Northern California native and have made over 60 trips around the sun. I work hard, play harder (and younger) and believe life is best lived with passion!

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