I learned something on last week’s solo getaway. I roamed down a semi-private road of another Inn looking for somewhere to view the sun setting over the mighty Pacific.
I was rewarded with a truly awesome sunset view!
Rick & I loved exploring beaches/forests together, we both took photos & posed together. When I started going solo I stopped asking strangers to take a photo of me, it felt so…needy/sad to me, and I hated seeing my sad face when I tried it once or twice. Within 6 months on my journey I bought a Phone selfie stick/tripod with wireless remote. I also learned to use the shutter delay on my phone’s camera. It gave me a bit more courage/pride as I learned how to use these.
I now realize:
– I was missing seeing me making/enjoying my solo adventures, missing having photos of me ‘being there’.
-I am LIVING for two of us, seeing incredible new places (a privilege denied to Rick). After I have been joyously reunited with Rick I want our 3 sons & their families to have proof that Mom/”Gogo” really kept on living after Dad/”Pop-Pop” moved to paradise. (The One Republic song “I Did It All” became our anthem when it became popular in 2014.)
It’s cool because I feel a bit more happy/mischievous in my trips taking photos with me represented, it makes me feel like Rick is there, too. And I know he is happy I am enjoying life again. It encourages me on! So these photos are some of my snaps from my solo journeys in the past 13 mos.
I am so glad/inspired to have more adventures when I see these. In no way does this diminish my feelings of missing Rick, but it helps to find the ‘glimmers’ (opposite of ‘triggers’) and joy presented in a wave, a sunset, a feeling of sun on my face etc, so I don’t miss the gifts of life in front of me.
Maybe it’s not every widow’s rut, but I want to help my sister & brother widows to either avoid or get out of it, too. So – take a deep breath and the next step, even if it’s just to a new local park, a garden center, or a photo of your feet in the sand or your hand cradling a flower. This last picture is me celebrating life and love while watching the sunset at Jenner on my second evening.